Well, it's been three months today since James passed. I was doing pretty well until his birthday on March 30 then it all fell apart. I went to Church and the choir sang "In the Garden"(James favorite) then I went to his aunt's funeral and they played it there also. I tried to apologize to my sister in law and broke completely down.Then when I got home, one of the people who had helped me with James had suddenly died. What a way to celebrate James birth. I guess it finally hit home, he wasn't coming back. I miss him so badly and not a day goes by that I don't cry at least once. I feel so lost. I don't want to go anywhere and don't want to do anything. I sleep most of the time, guess it's my way of coping. I know God is with me and I will break free of the grief in time but I need His strength.
I feel like I don't belong anymore. I know my kids love me and James family cares but it's not the same. I miss James so much. I tried to prepare but I guess you never can completely realize what it's like till you go through it.
Please pray for me.
thanks
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